Worth a Look ~ Why Dads Don't Mother, Pushing Passion on our Kids, and Mutated Genes

Lots of family, parenting, and human interest stories today.

The Distinct, Positive Influence of a Good Dad  Yes!  I am so grateful for a good husband who is dedicated to his family.  As the article notes, "Fathers don't mother." What my husband brings to our family is a unique contribution.  This brief review of what research shows is the unique contribution of fathers is excellent.

I love this advice from a family therapist.  Question:  I feel like I married the wrong person

"I believe we all marry the wrong person when we get married. None of us are who we need to be when we’re first married. Our reasons for getting married are often about us. We tell ourselves things like, “He’s just like me”, or “She likes what I like”, or “He’s attractive to me.” The list goes on with evidence of why this person works for us. We often select someone because they make us feel a certain way. In other words, most of our reasons are self-centered. At some point in the course of marriage, however, our commitment must expand beyond our own narrow self-interest.

If we stayed exactly the same as we were when we first married, most of us wouldn’t be able to stay married. It requires us to adapt and grow into someone who can be there for someone during times when we may not get much in return. Marriage is the perfect environment to rid us of selfishness. Adding children to a family presents us with more reasons to lose our self-centeredness."

I also agree with this parenting wisdom found in Our Push for Passion and Why it Harms Kids, though I would go further and say that pushing for "passion" for adults is also misguided.

For most children, childhood isn’t about passion, but rather about exploration. Our job as parents is to nurture that exploration, not put an end to it. When we create an expectation that children must find their one true interest so early in life, we cut short a process of discovery that may easily take a lifetime.

My favorite banana bread.  I've substituted yogurt for the buttermilk at times and it has been amazing. The recipe comes from my favorite cooking blog.

I've been listening to a lot of great speeches while I exercise or clean.  A few that have stood out to me:

•  We Count our Successes in Lives: Health vs. Health Care.  This address, given in 2014, is a must-listen.  The author has an impressive health resume and gives a lot of evidence-based information about why health outcomes are not always affected well by access to health insurance, how applying simple practices made huge impacts on survival rates in the IHC system, and etc.  I wish the text were available so I could quote you some of it, but trust me, it's worth a listen.
• God will use you, God will bless you  I love the stories told about the Philadelphia and San Salvador Temple, plus this:  "Brothers and sisters, I have been in situations where all appears lost, where it seems that nothing you can do or say will make a difference. What I have learned in these situations is that if you are on the Lord’s errand, do all that you can do with the talents and abilities God has given you and then lift up your heart and plead for God to hear your prayer and intervene on your behalf. Even though you may appear to be outnumbered, even though it appears that all may be lost, our beloved Father in Heaven will reach out and take you by the hand. He will fight your battles. He will come to your aid."

This story is awesome! I listened to the podcast about it with my older kids on our California trip a month ago and they were fascinated.  The DIY Scientist, the Olympian, and the Mutated Gene