Monday, June 21, 2010

Tired

I was peeking at my blog stats the other day. I've gotten fewer comments lately and wondered if anyone was still reading. My daughter came over and asked me what I was looking at.

"It's a way for me to see if people are reading my blog. See, here's the weekly summary. This line shows me how many people read it in a week." (It seems about the same as ever, by the way, so I figure everyone's just too busy with summer to comment. Either that, or I'm just really boring lately.)

"Who is it reading your blog?"

"I don't know all of them. Some of them are people who want to have a large family but are worried about it. They want to see how it's done and that it can be done. Others are probably just curious. I feel like it's a good thing to blog. There are so many voices that are negative towards large families. I want to talk about our lives, to show that 'Sure, it's hard, but it's worth doing.' Too many people encounter tough things and want to run the other way. But one thing that I've learned in my life is that everything worth doing is hard."

Everything worth doing is hard. I needed that reminder, as life has battered me down more than usual this week. Katie is now officially our worst sleeper, and the cumulative lack of sleep is weighing on me.

We rejoice in her presence, and I know that what I'm doing is worthwhile, but still, I am tired, and it appears that I will be so for some time.

But there are things to learn from being tired. I'm sure I could think of some and write something profound about them, if it weren't that I'm so tired right now. Maybe later.

But I will say that when I'm tired, I'm more aware than ever of how much I depend on my Heavenly Father. People often ask, "How do you do it?" and if I'm honest, the best answer is, "I pray a lot and God helps me."

He gives me the strength to do the work my family needs, the wisdom to know what to do with more limited energy, and the courage to count my blessings. They are many.

I've drawn strength recently from the song, "How can I keep from singing?" You can download an amazingly beautiful FREE MP3 of it here. The words are soothing and beautiful.

My life flows on in endless song
Above earth's lamentation
I hear the sweet, tho' far-off hymn
That hails a new creation

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing
It finds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing?

What tho' my joys and comfort die?
The Lord my Saviour liveth
What tho' the darkness gather round?
Songs in the night He giveth

No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that Refuge clinging
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

I lift mine eyes; the cloud grows thin
I see the blue above it
And day by day this pathway smooths
Since first I learned to love it

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart
A fountain ever springing
All things are mine since I am His
How can I keep from singing?


I thought this article was so beautifully written and had so many wonderful things to say about being a mom. I especially loved this part:

Nature has something to teach us about this patience with the process. Anyone who has been to Arches National Monument can't help but be awestruck by the beauty of the place. It is a wonder how the wind and water have carved and molded their way through the soft sandstone, creating amazing arches and canyons. These were not produced in a moment, by a mighty blast of wind or one torrential rainstorm. It was day by day, year by year, a drop here and a breeze there. The wind and the rain may have only taken a few grains of sand from the stone, but little by little their work was accomplished. Now generations of people can look with wonder upon their work

I like to think that I am like the wind and the rain upon the soft souls of my children. My work is done day by day, year by year, a touch here, and a gentle word there. I may not see the effects of my work for years to come, and yet my heart whispers that I am doing something of great importance.

13 comments:

brownkoalab said...

I'm still reading, and will try and comment more :) I really enjoy reading your updates and seeing your awesome photos. You have a real talent Christina.

Rachel from Aus

amywilson said...

Hi Christina,

Please know I still read your blog faithfully. You are an amzing mom. I am so happy I decided to check it out today. We just had a miscarraige with number 7 and it was so sad. But we know God just has a different plan right now and God willing someday we will hold number 7. Thank you for helping remind me through suffering comes strength. Keep up the amzing job and try to get some sleep!

amy

Handsfullmom said...

Aw, you two just made my day. Although, now I'm wondering if what I wrote sounded like a plea for comments. =)

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I wish I could give you a hug -- you have such a great family with those six boys.

Christy said...

Thank you for the song. It is very beautiful and lifting. I just wanted to let you know that I have been spying on you. You provide a great quick little rest from my own tribe. Yes, being a mom takes so much work and we can become very tired but it is so worth it. Being a mom of lots is especially rewarding. as you see your teachings in the interactions of all your kids.
Keep up the good work!

Lisa6Kids said...

I'm still reading! I am getting a lot less comments lately too. I think people might be all addicted to Facebook.

Everything Worth Doing is Hard...I say that to my kids (and myself) almost everyday. It's a great thing to remember.

Natalie said...

Oh, I know that tired feeling SO WELL. BUT, I too love that song and think of it often. I love that last line of the quote too: "my heart whispers that I am doing something of great importance." So true. Thanks for this!

Dina said...

I'm reading! My twins were not good sleepers, so I can really relate. I don't know that I've recovered yet and they are 7. :)

I know you are experienced mom, but the thing that finally worked is a good tight swaddle. Have you tried that? My boys were swaddled until they were 6 mos. old. (Later, their arms were out). After that we moved to the Halo Sleep sack. Also made them feel snuggly. Sorry about the bad nights.

Handsfullmom said...

Dina,

You're wonderful -- are your twins really 7 now? I still can't get over mine are almost 6. You're the second person who has suggested swaddling. I do a loose wrap right now, but I think I'm going to try it and see. Eliza was a swaddled baby but most of my others fought it.

Corri said...

It's just the summertime busyness, trust me!

Have you heard the LDS folk musical group Fiddlesticks? They record a great version of that song too.

swedemom said...

I love your posts. I wish you could post more often, but understand why you don't.

I hope that you are able to get rest soon. I can sympathize. I have not been sleeping well because my baby is not sleeping well and it is getting to me.

Thank you for the thoughts and for the song. Both are very needed.

Archer's Mum said...

i love reading about your life and family, we only have 1 baby- but cant wait for more, so for now i live out my large family dreams through you,
lol :)

Stacey said...

I'm sorry you have a terrible sleeper. It's so hard on the mama. You have such a great attitude about it, but it can be so hard! Hang in there!

Mostly Diane said...

I think after a new baby the most important thing in my life is suddenly sleep. It is hard to think of anything else. You are doing a great job.

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