Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Choosing Children: Motherhood, Aging, And Childlessness by Choice

For about two months now, I've been reading all the General Conference talks from the last thirty years that mention motherhood. It's been a good exercise for me. I think when I first became a mother fifteen years ago, the excitement and thrill of it all constantly brought me joy. There were new firsts all the time and I was young, energetic, and determined to do it everything right.  I embraced motherhood with all I had to give it.  I read about it, thought about it, and probably even dreamt about it.

 And of course, I also lived it, welcoming our first three children into our lives in the span of three years.

I scrapbooked and journaled and wrote letters to my children and documented all their firsts.  I even learned to sew and made all of our Halloween costumes.

Over the years, though, motherhood and its novelty has worn off a bit.  I've learned that I can't do it all or be everything I want to be as a mother, and that children don't exactly always want to be molded into the well-behaved and diligent, talented prodigies I once imagined I'd have.  I still do the best I can, but time and raising children have made me confront my weaknesses and realize that I'm not the perfect mother I used to imagine I'd always be.

Motherhood has been an intense learning experience, and it has required me to develop qualities I always thought I had but didn't realize I lacked until they were needed every day.  Things like patience, self-sacrifice, wisdom, balance, organization, priorities, and choosing the best part.

It's been an adventure, to say the least, made more intense by the addition of twins two years after Michael was born (yep, the math on that is five kids born in five years), not to mention four more girls after that, several health challenges related to an autoimmune disease (Hashimoto's), a husband in grad school and then with a time-intensive career, and more.

But over the years, as I've lived motherhood more and more, I've thought, read, and dreamed about it less, until I think at times I take it for granted, not realizing the blessings I'm surrounded by because I'm so involved in the day-to-day minutia of running the household, catering to my large family's individual needs, and diligently caring for my own physical and emotional health.

So it was good for me to take a step back and look at the larger picture of what motherhood is and how blessed I am to be part of it.

You see, I believe that life does not begin at conception, but rather, that we lived as spirit children of our Heavenly Parents before we came to earth.  There, we were prepared for life on earth and accepted God's plan that we would come to this mortal world to gain a physical body and be tested to see what we would choose.  God knew that we would make mistakes and sin, and He presented to us a plan where we could receive grace and forgiveness through the Atonement and sacrifice of His perfect son, Jesus Christ.  Christ would make it possible for us to live again spiritually by repenting of our sins and also to live again physically through the gift of the resurrection.

In the context of that fundamental belief about our life here on earth, it is easy to understand why motherhood and fatherhood are so important to those of my faith.  We believe that God's first commandment to Adam and Eve to "multiply and replenish the earth" wasn't just God saying, "Hey, have children, it will be fun."  Rather, it was an integral part of His work and His plan.  Children would refine, change, and bring joy to parents, yes, but those children also needed a chance for their testing on earth.

That's why, in the words of Elder Andersen, "It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children."

I also believe that before we came to earth, we were given individual assignments and blessings. I believe we accepted and embraced our challenges and opportunities with excitement and even joy as well as understanding that God would one day make all things right.  I know some strong, amazing souls who have come to earth in damaged bodies and with limited minds.  Others are born into poverty, abuse, and desperate conditions.  Some women desire to be married and do not find a spouse.  Others want children and are unable to have them in this life.

Mothering your own children is a sacred privilege, but the act of nurturing and the qualities of motherhood embrace all women.  Sheri Dew has said, "When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” —and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood.  Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

In this context, the choice to have children isn't just another choice -- it is both an amazing refining experience and the choice to give life to a spirit who already exists and is anxious for a loving family on earth.  Parents can attest that each child comes with a personality and mind of their own, independent of parental training or genetic predisposition.

As we accept and embrace motherhood, we are really accepting a role that God has modeled for us through countless ages -- that of recognizing the worth of each individual soul and providing that soul with life, counsel, love, kindness, nurturing, patience, and instruction.  It is a weighty thing to be a mother or father.

I read two articles recently that brought to mind the stark reality of our world today, where children are no longer a significant part of life for many individuals.  The articles highlighted quotes from women who had chosen not to have children and the reasons why.  Some of the reasons for not having children included:

  • "It's so much more work to have children. To have lives besides your own that you are responsible for — I didn't take that on. That did make things easier for me."
  • "I don’t have time to raise a child."
  • "It's unconscionable to breed, with the number of children who are starving to death in impoverished countries."
  • "I like the idea of grown-up activities. It’s not like I have a specific hobby, I just really like the grown-up life. If I’m not going to recitals, that’s ok with me. I want to be married, not married with a child."
  • "It’s weird because if you say you don’t want to have kids, everyone assumes you’re selfish or not nurturing or not compassionate. For me, that that’s not the case. I still have that strong desire to nurture something. I tell my husband, I still need something to take care of. I need to get some chickens."
It was interesting to peruse the comments briefly and see many say something like, "It's so awful that people have to feel pressure to have children!"  And of course, I understand that the philosophy of the day is that people should be able to make any choice they want and that no one should ever judge or say differently.  I guess if you come from a perspective where life is all about personal choices and self-fulfillment without outside guidance or expectation, then that makes sense.

But in my worldview, I believe that women who deliberately choose to be childless are making a mistake they will come to regret, likely in this life and surely in the worlds to come.  And if sharing the belief that children are a valuable part of life and family is pressure, then so is telling people that they should try chocolate or Thai food or encouraging kids to go to college.  The fact is that without experiencing parenthood for yourself, you don't know what it is like.  So shouldn't you listen to those who do have experience with it and consider their advice?

Of course, I don't believe that women who will be neglectful or abusive should choose to have a child just because of pressure, but I have to believe that makes up a very, very small percentage of women.

I also understand that not everyone will be able to have children or even to have as many children as they want to.  There may also be cases where a couple feels strongly for various reasons that it is best not to have children.

But as a society, we are losing the strength that used to come from people growing up, getting married, and having children.  Children are no longer seen as the blessings they are, but instead as just another item on the menu of life choices and one that might take too much time, effort, or interfere with other pursuits.

It is also worrisome that with current trends, we will have an aging population without enough younger people to support them.  There's been plenty written and produced about the challenges of our aging population as an aggregate, so I'll make that a topic for another day.

But I do want to briefly mention the impact on an individual who grows old without having children. Too many making the childless decision today are living in a fantasy world, one in which they never have to get old, lose any of their capacities, or need long-term care.  Their lives without children are glamorous, full of fascinating careers, time for hobbies and travel, and of course, time to live it up while lying on a beach.

What they don't realize or expect is something that will happen to them just as it does to people all over the world.  They will get old.  No matter how healthy they live, how much they exercise, or how healthy they eat, as sure as time marches on, they will not always be in the prime of their lives.

They will retire and likely become irrelevent in their careers.  They may lose the ability to do some of their hobbies.  Their sight might fail, they might have a stroke or they might have dimished mental capacities.

I watched this week a poignant documentary called The Genius of Marian, about a family dealing with their mother Pam's early onset of Alzheimer's disease.  The story was told through a series of video clips of every day life as well as home movies from when the children were young.  On thing that touched me was how involved and helpful the three children in that family were as their dad tried to cope and make tough decisions about her care.  They loved her and surrounded her with that love.  Her husband was wonderful to her and spoke movingly about how he wanted to give to her in her time of need because of what a wonderful life she'd always given him.  But I have to think that if he had been the only one available to care for her, he would not have been able to handle it.  And what would have happened to that woman had she been childless or her husband been in poor health?  What if she'd been divorced or widowed?

I was also touched by the many times the grandchildren in the family played a part in bringing joy. They toddled in and loved their grandma and brought joy to their grandfather as well.

The family did hire caregivers to help and of course that is appropriate in many cases.  But with the ranks of our elderly overpowering the smaller younger population, good paid care is going to be tougher to find.  And even the best of care provided by trained nurses cannot replace the loving care given by family members -- especially children.  There are already too many cases of elder abuse, with caregivers taking advantage of their position to neglect or steal from those they should be helping.

And even if you are in good health throughout your life, what happens when the life you've poured yourself into instead of having children is gone?  Will your co-workers visit you in your old age and reminisce about the wonderful career you had?  Will your Facebook fans drive for hours just to spend a day sitting on your front porch?  When you can no longer travel and backpack over Europe, who will be left to remember the good times you've had?  Who will remind you of all the good you did in the world and tell you how much you mean to them?  Who will tell their children about the things you taught them?  Who will keep your picture on their wall?  Who will kiss your cheek and tell you they love you?

And what legacy will you leave behind?  When I leave this earth, I know that my contribution of nine amazing, hard-working, dedicated, loving children will live on.  They will continue to give service to the world and make contributions in many areas, as will their children after them.

I asked some of my friends to share their reasons for having children, and I will leave you with their replies.

  • Kati:  I cannot image my life without children. The joy, sorrow, pain and love cannot compare to anything else.
  • Tracy:  It is my calling in life, to be a mother. My Dad told me after my first little one came that I'd never looked better and I must have been meant to be a mother. Greatest compliment anyone ever gave me.
  • Jan:  I was raised by my grandmother, because my mother chose to work. I was proud of my mother's accomplishments, but what I wanted and needed was a mother to be home. I stayed home for my six children because I wanted to be the mother who stayed home for them, to introduce them to a life of confidence, love, and family strength. I knew it could be done even though I didn't personally receive that start in life.
  • Tiffany:  As a mother, I feel like I am engaged in a BIG work, that far transcends any other responsibility I have held, even though much of what I do can feel mundane, boring, or even gross.  Raising six children has refined my vision of who I am and what I can do to make the world a better place. Numerous studies along with anecdotal evidence bears out the reality that mothers tremendously to the emotional, spiritual, physical well-being of children, which ripples out to the community and world at large. 
  • ReNee:  I have known before I was born, I feel it in my soul (and an amazing person confirmed this!) that I was meant to be a mother, it's the hardest thing I have ever done, but the most fulfilling.
  • Lori:  While growing up and watching my mom, I was in awe. She was always there. She taught me so much, and still does. I wanted to be just like her. When I married my husband, I was anxious to start my family. I knew, standing in the sealing room [to be married] that I had promised to bring some very special spirits to earth, Though there are trials and hardships, I can't imagine my life without any one of them. I am so blessed.
  • Diane:  I always wanted to be a mom. When I was a l girl, I would draw pictures of my future family and floor plans of my future home. But I would not have had so many children if it wasn't for religion. My religious views that children are a heritage of the Lord and that families are forever is the only reason I had to go against the grain of society and have more children. It became about following the Lord's plan for my life and trusting that would be better than society's plan for my life.
  • Viki:  I kept having kids because a) I enjoyed the process of making them b) I hated having periods and c) I just really wanted a chance at having an offspring to wipe my butt when I'm old and incontinent. . . Oh...did you mean serious? Then yes to all the great reasons you guys already know and listed! I felt it a calling, duty, blessing, and a way to praise my God.
  • Stephanie:   I did not feel enthusiastic about becoming a mother; in fact, I felt a lot of trepidation and didn't have much faith in my ability to be a good mother. I did, however, have a lot of faith in Heavenly Father and believed the doctrines in the Family Proclamation to be true, and that gave me the courage to move toward my divine potential. I must say that the Lord has proved faithful in both helping me and showing me important things about myself and my children, and motherhood has been deeply rewarding.
  • Syndy:  My reasons to continue having kids is this...they need each other! I have 2 siblings, one passed away about 6 years ago, and it's just my brother and I left. It's sad knowing that once one of us is gone the other will be the "last one". I want my kids to have a big family to rely on, and help each other, and have fun together! I also think that they learn a lot about patience, and service, and tolerance, and love when they "have" to try and get along.
  • Kathryn:  As a young bride, sealed in the temple and taking the covenants that we had made with God very serious, more than anything I wanted to follow His plan and receive the promised blessings. I wanted an eternal family and that meant bringing children into our home and raising them according to that plan. Every blessing that I now enjoy emanates from that choice. My husband and I, have raised five children and now enjoy 11 grandchildren. That is happiness not only here, but forever.
  • Shelley:  I just look deep into the eyes of any child (mine or others) & I feel I'm standing on holy ground. What a sacred privelege to serve & nurture children of God in any capacity. Can be rough, can be exhausting & messy- but still.... Sacred.
  • Liz:  I chose to have children because I needed a really good excuse to swing at the park without people looking at me funny. Honestly, though: it's very cool to have multiple new shots at the adventures of life, and it's a different adventure with every child!
  • Rebecca:  I have always wanted to be a mom, I never had any desire for anything else. Though that thought was strange at times because I really didn't like children that much, but I knew that I would love my children, and I do!
  • Rochelle:  It was pure biology that switched me from not wanting any kids to wanting a baby. When I was about 19 I sniffed a baby head and knew that I had to do that. I think that my love for my siblings, and then the great delight of getting to know each spirit that came into our family is what pushed us into large family territory.
  • Jennette:  Because of love, on every level. The love between my husband and I, our individual love for God, and the sense of His love for us; also love for others, His other beloved children, our brothers and sisters; its possible to love and serve someone you've never met. Its even possible to love and long for someone who's never been born. I'm about to have my eighth. Strangely, its not the tiny baby I'm anxiously anticipating, although I adore babies. Its a special, unique person who I already love and can't wait to finally put my arms around and make a permanent part of our family
  • Britt:  I want to change the world. A well loved child has every potential in the world to do that. It really is the only way to change the world-one person at a time.


Kierst said...

Thanks for helping me to reflect on my calling as a mother today. I feel that so often I am bombarded with everything that has to get done, that I don't spend the time my children need in the doing of things. I have not yet become that mother that I hope to be. Sometimes I mourn the fact that we will only ever have 2 children, but other days I can't even imagine going another minute without being crazy. I think your most important point (at least to me today) is that motherhood really is a sacred thing. We're mothers, not taxi drivers and sports coaches and music teachers. We are all of those things, but we're mothers first.

Amber Gregory said...

I found this all very interesting. I've been a lurker on your blog for years, and feel brave enough to post now. I'm currently 32 years old and have never felt the urge to have a child, other than out of a fear of growing old and dying alone. I grew up an only child and have always been extremely uncomfortable around children. I feel that in my early 30s I am still far too selfish to commit my life to raising a person for the rest of it. I do have many fears about going the child free route, but I don't feel naturally maternal. So many of the comments from your friends say "I always wanted to be a mom." I definitely have never felt that way and the idea of feeling a connection to parenthood is alien to me. People have stopped telling me, at this point, that "I will change my mind" (probably because I haven't reacted well to that in the past).

I don't know. I don't know what to think. I think so much of female identity is tied to being a mother, and for good reason. But at the same time, I don't think a woman should force herself down that path if she just doesn't feel it.

I've felt so broken in this area of my life for so long. I definitely feel like there is something "wrong" with me because I don't have much of a maternal instinct.

The quotes from child free people you posted -- they resonate with me. Does that make me a bad woman? Does that mean there's something wrong with me? Things I've always wondered, particularly as I've gotten older.

And why am I sharing these thoughts here? Well, as I get older I become more afraid, because clearly I'm running out of time to "change my mind" about all of this. I am married but currently separated, so the entire point may be moot anyway.

ANYWAY. Thank you for posting this, it gave me much food for thought, of course, and I've seen those articles going around and needed a place to write things down. I long very much to WANT children. I just haven't been able to figure out how to want them yet, at all.

Handsfullmom said...


I'm thrilled you've been willing to come out of lurkdom and leave a comment. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt experience. I'm sorry to hear about your separation. That's got to be very hard. I don't know that I have any advice or wisdom to share for your particular situation, but I hope it's not too forward for me to ask if you've prayed about these feelings?

I haven't felt broken in this area, but I have felt broken in many other ways and I have often felt comfort, peace, and direction in prayer.

I think in general, if you have the opportunity to have children (stable marriage, good health, etc.), you should. It's the greatest good you can do. But that's probably obvious from the post. ;)

But individual paths vary and it may be that with your separation right now, the feelings you have had about not having children were the right ones for that time in your life. I think it's fascinating that even without the desire for children, you have a desire to have that desire. I think it shows your divine character.

If it helps, I always liked children but I hated babies. Maybe hate is too strong a word -- I just found them very boring. And I got it into my head as a teenager that I would probably never get married so I didn't really think a lot about having kids until I met my husband.

Even when we were expecting our first child, I worried that I wouldn't like her as a baby -- I know it sounds silly, but I really and truly have never held a baby and felt that "baby hunger" others talk about. Babies are fine and fun and I've learned to appreciate other people's babies more over time, but I've never been the one begging to hold someone else's baby (photograph them, sure!).

But I don't think I've ever felt more in love with a baby than when my own first child was born. It felt like I was greeting one of my best friends and I absolutely adored her.

I think that most women would describe similar feelings about falling in love with their own children, even if they lack maternal instincts.

I think it often takes women a leap of faith to have a child -- there's never a perfect time, a perfect marriage, perfect financial situation, etc. That's why prayer is such a strong part of the lives of so many women I know. We ask God to lead us, then try to follow the path He lays out for us, even when we can't see any more than a few steps ahead.

Thanks again for leaving a comment and giving me food for thought. I wish you well with your path ahead and I hope you find peace.


P.S. I took a look at your photography blog and WOW, you are talented. I love the raw emotion in so many of your photos and creative posing. I'm definitely adding you to my blog list.

Diane Botill said...

Amber, I would have to say, "I hear that!" I grew up not really liking other people's kids and praying that people would not ask me to hold their babies. I never wanted to be a wife or a mother, actually. The idea never held any appeal for me. It sounded like a whole lot of drudgery. I wanted to be single and have a career. End of story. I wasn't even interested in dating. Hahaha.

It took me staying around the same guy almost 24/7 for two years (we were in the same major, working the same job and assigned the same projects... by no design of our own) to get the message that maybe this was the guy for me and after we were married, having children was still very much up in the air for me. Why would I have a child when I simply was not a fan of children in general? My husband really wanted children but he left the ball in my court. It took a lot of soul searching before I decided to have one. And as Christina said, it was definitely a leap of faith. My dogs were my babies and people kept telling me stories about how I might have to get rid of them since often babies can be born with animal allergies and I remember saying on multiple occasions, "well that's too bad for the kid because I am not giving up my first babies for anything." Hahaha. I assure you, I was very skeptical about any "instant bond" that would happen with any child. Even during pregnancy, I was not all gooey with anticipation. I was not what I pictured as the "motherly-type" at all and was more than a little worried.

Let me tell you, it blew me away when I finally had my son. The level of fierce protectiveness, love and gratitude I had for him was something I had never experienced before. I loved that child on a level I never knew I could love anything. When he turned one, I was surprised to find I was pregnant again with twins! And the worry started right back up again. I thought the world was going to end. I was, frankly, a little angry and more than a little scared. Twins were something I DEFINITELY never wanted. I even got mad at the doctor when he told me... True story, lol. I would joke about adopting out the second one, but it was really just to mask my panic. Women would sqeal and gush about how they always wanted twins and I would just roll my eyes at them internally. I was going to have two children! That was the plan! Two! Spaced out! Not three in two years! Let me tell you, thank goodness life didn't work out like I planned. Those twins turned 8-years-old today and are so hilarious, kind, adventurous and thoughtful and have taught me so much. I have learned so much by being their mother and while it was not the job I thought I wanted, it was the job I needed.

I just wanted to share some of my story to let you know that there are others of us out there. I honestly still don't enjoy other people's kids all that much, for the most part. I am much better with babies than I used to be, although I still have to force the appearance of interest sometimes. I never did the whole "baby talk" and never gave the "look at my kid, isn't he adorable speech," because even though I thought my kid was awesome, I figured everyone found my kids as annoying as I found their kids. Hahaha! My kids turned out happy, well-adjusted and with great senses of humor.

Diane Botill said...

I agree with much of Christina's comment above about the right time and place. I may not be thetouchy feely mother that I thought I was supposed to be, but I was the mom interested in history, travel and science and I could bring that to the table when parenting my kids. I needed to emphasize my strengths and not worry so much about not being the perfect "motherly type." I thought that mothering instinct in me was broken, but I was just wired different (as every woman is, in some way or another) and that is ok too. I am the mom my kids need and they are the kids I need to refine me into a better person. We are from all walks of life and many of us, I have a feeling, feel horribly inadequate often when we start out as parents. There are more of us out there! Sorry for hijacking your post, Christina, lol.

Stephanie @ D. and D. said...

Amber, I'm the one who made the comment about not wanting to be a mom. I didn't really have the desire and felt like my talents were very different from what I thought nurturing looked like. For me, honestly, it was a leap of faith and hoping God would somehow equip me and give me the love for motherhood and my children. Loving the children came so easily and motherhood has been a learning process, but it has been rich with blessings. One thing I've learned is that I am nurturing, but it's a very different style than I was afraid I'd have to be. My own skills and talents help me raise kids in my own way, and I've felt God's approval in that. (Also, I had my first child after age 30.) I've written about this quite a bit on my own blog and even in a book. If it's something you'd like to explore more or ask questions, feel free to contact me at dd[dot]stephanie[at]gmail[dot]com

swedemom said...

Amber, I really sympathize with your thoughts that you shared here. I grew up in a large family, but I had no desires for a family or any maternal instincts at all. None. Zero. Period. I hated babysitting with a passion and foisted jobs onto my sister. I thought that kids were gross and too much work. When I got married, my husband was excited to start a family, but I was reluctant. I wasn't there yet at all.

Eventually I was ready and I became pregnant. I had a pretty easy pregnancy, but a rough and difficult delivery with some challenges following the delivery. My son bonded much more easily with my husband than he did with me., but I fell head over heels in love with my little baby.

No one is more surprised than me that now have six children. They have come at all seasons of my life: through illness, financial hardship, grad school for my husband, legal battles with a nasty landlord, etc. I cannot think of one instance where I was pregnant and delivered a baby in an optimal, perfect time. Each time was special though and our family has survived these challenges.

Even now, my maternal instinct can be weak. My husband is much kinder, patient, and gentle with our children. He is a much better nurturer than I am. Our family isn't dysfunctional at all, but I am most certainly not the perfect mother either.

Most days I can handle the day to day grind and do so cheerfully. Some days are a different story. I cry or lose my temper. I fantasize about running away. I horde chocolate in my room. I tell my kids to be quiet during dinner.

My point is that the maternal instinct isn't something every woman naturally has. Lacking it doesn't disqualify a woman from being a great mother. You may to work harder than most to develop those qualities, but it is possible. Motherhood isn't easy or natural to most women. We could all use more patience and gentleness. We all battle with demons, depression, insecurity, anxiety, and worry in some form. Frankly, I think it is miraculous that any of us manage to become mothers and do a decent job of it.

God didn't ask us to be perfect and perfectly maternal to be mothers, He just asked us to try and do our best. The atonement of Jesus Christ covers us in our weaknesses, heals our children when we make mistakes, mends our broken hearts, and transforms us. I know this is true, because I experience it frequently.

Amber, all the best to you in your journey. If you ever get to a point where you do become a mother, know that we are here and we've got your back.

Amber Gregory said...

Wow, everyone, thank you SO MUCH for your amazing, truly wonderful comments! I feel so much love right now. Thank you thank you thank you. I'm going to print this out and read it again and again.

Liz Wheeler said...

Here's what really surprised me when I became a mom: 1) Kids can be so much fun - just how much joy and excitement kids have for the simplest of things - it's like a breath of fresh air 2) I'm investing in generations - hundreds of years by having and raising children. People having families are the ones investing in the future of humanity and the planet because it's their posterity left to take care of it 3) Maternal love can be learned and doesn't have to look like someone else's. I had forgotten my desire to have kids during my teenage/young adult years because of not-fun babysitting jobs, excelling in school and enjoying the working life, and not dating a lot so I wondered if I'd ever marry. But after I married and started having my children, something deep inside me sprung that reminded me I did want to have kids. And over time I've come into embracing motherhood. I'm still not great at it, wonder if I'll go back to work one day, and try to find balance between what I want to do and what I need to do for my family. But it's a deliberate way of life I choose to live every day.

Jenny Evans said...

I've been a long-time reader but this is my first time commenting. I love this blog. Whenever I get negative comments about my family size that get me discouraged, I know I can always come here for some uplifting thoughts and encouragement. Christina, you're welcome to visit me at unremarkablefiles.blogspot.com anytime!

Corine Moore said...

Great post! I too, feel sad for those who choose not to have children and believe most of them (if not all) will one day regret the choice with great intensity. I have NEVER regretted having children and never will. It is the MOST FULFILLING occupation in the universe!


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