Talking to Yourself

Last year, with the help of Weight Watchers and running, I lost 35 pounds. I was on track to lose the last 25 when I found out I was pregnant and it was time to put that goal on hold for a while. I gained 30 pounds during pregnancy, which means that even at the end of that pregnancy, I weighed less than I had a year before. Two weeks after Cami's birth, I found I had 14 pounds to lose to get back to where I was last summer. I lost ten pounds in March and five pounds so far in April, leaving me looking like this: Wow, it feels great to be making so much progress! But at the same time, this process is discouraging and overwhelming. I've had to fight stress and sleep-deprivation and ravenous, irrational hunger for every pound. Some weeks, the scale hasn't moved much despite my best efforts. Fitting in the running hasn't been easy. But I've learned something in the process and it is this: Be careful what you say when you talk to yourself. I've had to consciously change my thoughts. Instead of "Only ten pounds down. You've still got thirty to go. I don't know if you can keep it up that long," I've tried to say, "Ten pounds is awesome! You're one-fourth of the way there!" Instead of "You barely lost anything this week. A half pound a week? At that rate, it will take you SIXTY weeks to lose all that extra weight. Might as well give up now." I've tried to say, "You'll do better next week. A half pound is a half pound gone and at least the scale is moving in the right direction." Instead of "You're slowing down this month. All that work the last two weeks and you're only barely back to where you were last summer. Can you really keep this up for however long it takes?" I've tried to say, "Now, you're one-third of the way there. Look how all your smallest clothes fit you again! You didn't get very long to enjoy this size last summer, so celebrate it now. Best of all, any weight you lose from this point on is a brand-new low for you." I still find those negative thoughts creeping in, but deliberately changing them has helped me be patient. This morning, I saw a new number on the scale -- one I haven't seen in a decade. And hey, aren't I looking great?

Comments

Cheryl said…
Yes, you are! You look fantastic. Way to go!
Tiffany Wacaser said…
I am SO proud of you. You look beautiful. Your shirt really compliments your new figure.

You are right about the self-talk. I've been thinking about how, while it is important to look at the bigger picture, sometimes it is overwhelming. But seeing how far you've gone is exciting!
Dana said…
I need to spend some time with you. Maybe some of your attitude and energy can rub my way. :) The weight-loss journey (or any saelf-improvement journey for that matter) is a slow and discouraging one. so many hurdles, so many excuses, so many challenges. Insterestingly enough incredibly rewarding. I know this because I feel like I have gotten there ONCE in my life. I am now back to +30 and have a race in 2 weeks that I am not ready for (7 miles) and another the frist weekend in June that I am REALLY not ready for. I hate feeling unprepared and disappointed in myself. Time to put on my boot straps and do better! Better to start today and tomorrow. I did just pass up that doughnut so that is good. :)
Kristen said…
Christina, you really look great! And I'm sure it feels great too. :) Oh, and I totally agree with the self-talk stuff. It's amazing how hard life is when we are critical of ourselves.
John said…
I think you look FANTASTIC!!!!!!! And I think you are amazing at how hard you work running and training while nursing and pregnant!
Cynthia said…
I am so happy for you! I am determined to start losing again once baby girl gets here (anytime now...yay!) And I too have problems being positive about the losing part...thanks for the inspiration :)
Erin said…
You are beautiful Christina! It takes a lot for a person to think positively like that because you don't realize you are doing it! Thanks for the post. It reminded me of my blog post from a few weeks ago! beharris[dot]blogspot[dot]com
Maryanne said…
Yes! It's amazing how mean our self-talk can be and I've decided to stop it too. Way to go!
Rachel Keppner said…
Way to go!!!! :-D
Amber said…
You do look great!! Way to go-- you are an inspiration!!! Thanks for sharing!!
You do look great!! And you are an inspiration!! I totally agree with that self talk. I usually just say, "Just give it up today and start over tomorrow." Not a great way to lose weight. :-)
Claire said…
I think you are doing awesome! I have trouble losing anything at first...nursing makes me so hungry and sleep deprivation takes its toll as well.
Liz Wheeler said…
I always love your posts. So insightful... Since Michael's birth I have tried earnestly to lose the baby weight but it has not been budging. In the past couple of months, I've analyzed my eating patterns and found that I crave feeling "full" given my current situation. I am already feeling "empty" because of Michael's cancer, and then to add physical hunger seems to send me over the edge. And my husband and children really don't need a mom who's about to go over the edge during this time. So, it leaves me wondering if weight loss may be a "time and season" thing too.

I'm so proud of you. You look great.
Corine Moore said…
Congratulations!!!! :D You're doing SO GREAT!!!! And not just with the being healthy, but also with the positive thinking... I just read a book I think you would love. It is by Virginia H. Pearce, called "Through His Eyes" It is about learning to see ourselves the way our Father in Heaven does, by letting go of beliefs that aren't 100% true and rethinking what you believe about yourself. Quick, easy read, but so vital to making progress. You already live it, but I think you would still love the book.

Congrats again!
Corine :D