Friday, November 18, 2011

Why am I doing this again? (Friday Favorites)

I loved what Janene Baadsgaard, a mother of ten, has to say in this experience she had while expecting yet another child:

One day I was waiting in line for my child’s evaluation with his new kindergarten teacher. A stylish young mother and her son sat in the chairs next to us because the teacher was running behind. I was obviously eight months pregnant and hovering on the huge side of big.

This young mother stared at my belly and asked, “Why do you want to do that again?” Her question caught me off guard. I blushed. “This is it for me,” she added. “Boy am I ever ready to get this last one in school. Now it’s my turn for me.” She was wearing beautifully tailored clothes, her hair was elegantly styled and her long fake fingernails were polished pink with jeweled flowers on the tips. “Just bought that,” she finished pointing to a shiny red sports car in the parking lot. “Nice huh.”

I looked down at my protruding mid-section and asked myself . . . Why am I doing this again? My worn maternity clothes were stained orange across the belly with my preschooler’s spaghetti from lunch. I still had dirt under my fingernails from playing in the sandbox. My wind-blown hair was stuck to several sticky kisses on my cheeks. The old van I drove was covered with mud and still smelled like hot dog and marshmallow smoke from our last family camp out. Yet, I knew exactly why I was doing this again.

I cleared my throat several times, turned to this woman and asked, “What if a highly important person brought you to the opening of a diamond mine and said you could go inside and gather as many diamonds as you wanted? But, there was one condition. You only had a certain amount of time before your opportunity was over and then you couldn’t gather any more diamonds. Would you do it?”

“Sure, who wouldn’t,” the stylish young mother answered.

“What if some of the diamonds were hidden in the rocks and you had to work really hard to find them and keep them?”

“I’d be willing to do whatever it took to get those diamonds because then I’d be rich,” the young mother answered. “Even one diamond is worth a fortune.”

“That’s why I’m doing this again,” I answered patting my abdomen.

I’m not sure that woman understood what I was trying to say. But I noticed that my little boy, who was seated next to me, took my hand and quite literally beamed.

Children always know when they’re somebody’s treasure.

Wiping runny noses, changing messy diapers, fixing endless meals, sorting dirty laundry, soothing crying infants, waiting up for teenagers, supervising homework, cleaning up after the stomach flu, washing dishes, bringing in a paycheck and picking up after another toddler tornado doesn’t seem like important work. It is. Loving and serving children of all ages is the only work that really matters. The value of each person’s soul is priceless.

So, the next time you’re in the middle of cleaning up yet another mess, repeat these words . . . Children are my diamonds. I’ll do whatever it takes to nurture their souls because then I’ll be rich with love forever.

Many people ask me if I'm planning on more kids. Up until a few weeks ago, my answer has been, "Sure, I'm only 33; I've got time." But being confronted with the number 34, which seems not so far from 35 and so on, I decided to see how much time I really do have.

This site points out:

Declining fertility is more of an issue for women than for men. Assuming that [husband and wife are actively trying to conceive] and that there are no medical or health problems, statistics show that:

  • At the age of 25, a woman has a 30% –35% chance of conceiving per cycle.
  • At the age of 35, a woman has a 15% –20% chance of conceiving per cycle.
  • At the age of 45, a woman has a 3% –5% chance of conceiving per cycle.
And I also found this chart interesting, showing the likelihood of a woman getting pregnant over the course of a year:
Assuming those averages prove true in my case, it shows me that I really don't have that much time. The years to be gathering our treasures are surprisingly short.


Tristan said...

I love this post - it is so true. We're awaiting the arrival of baby #7 who is coming with some special challenges and many people want to know if we're "done". NO! We'll take every blessing God wants to send our way, children are blessings and they are priceless.

Greg "n" Laura said...

I also love this post! It's so hard for people with little faith to understand the eternal and endless blessings and joy that come with each child. Sure it's hard, and you wont get to spend all that time on "you", but what is all that time for anyway? I also understand your feeling of time running out. There are times that I wonder why in the world I had any, let alone the 7 we have, but there's nothing quite as special as bringing another baby into your family. Sometimes I feel so sad to think that part of my life is almost over. I also wanted to say that growing up, my mom always said that our children will be the jewels in our crown in heaven. Love that though, and loved the diamond analogy!

Cynthia said...

I love the three I have and look forward to the one that will join us next year...just before I turn 34. I got started a little later in the baby game but I adore my children and the joy each brings to everyday (better to remember then the frustrations that come along as well). A few weeks ago Wesley (age 4) looked at me and told me I would have 3 more babies come from my body - the first of those three is on his/her way and I pray the others will come (quickly, really I am not getting younger) as well. I love the sweet faith of a child.

Mary said...

A year and 1/2 ago, at the age of 45, I learned I would have another baby. My husband and I were so happy only to have a mischarge. It is very hard to realize that the chances of having another baby are next to none. I think you are very smart in grabbing the diamonds when you can.

Catey said...

I have always loved that story....Sis Baadsgard is one of my very favorite writers-I adore everything she writes! What a blessing it truly is to have so many treasures. :)

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Tracy said...

Beautiful post. Thank you for cheering up my day. With 6 kids and over 35, this story really touched me. And I am so glad to know there are others in the world who understand my feelings so well. Now I'll jog on over and tell the author that as well. :)

Corrie said...

I love this! thank you so much! I'm due with my 5th baby next year and we haven't wasted time as I will have 5 under 7. Most people get it but there are people who don't. We just feel so blessed and lucky to have babies and a wonderful family!

love your blog, just found it today


Raisin4Cookies said...

I am 31 this year and my husband and I are in agreement that we should have our 5th. I have been feeling slightly anxious to get started, but am still breastfeeding my 20 month old and it would appear that I am infertile during this time.

I've come to accept the concept of the Lord opening and closing the womb, so it is a bit of a challenge to me to not fret about my age and accept things will happen in the Lord's time (I've gotten pregnant while breastfeeding before, which gave us an 18 month age gap! I don't know why things are different this time.)

Thank you for the statistics. It gives me more to think and pray about.


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